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English to be the Official Language of the EU


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#1 Bug

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 08:55 PM

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

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No... it's not real. Take it from someone who learns the hard way :D

#2 Matthew.

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:08 PM

I knew it was fake from

Quote

rather than German which was the other possibility.

heh :D

#3 albinoAZN

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:12 PM

thank god it's not real, it started to remind me of NewSpeak from the novel 1984.

#4 Jeepinator

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:38 PM

HOLY SHIT THIS SOUNDS JUST LIKE NEWSPEAK IN 1984 OH MY GOD IT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!

View PostalbinoAZN, on Aug 20 2007, 09:12 PM, said:

thank god it's not real, it started to remind me of NewSpeak from the novel 1984.


Rofl I didn't even see your post when i made mine either...scary eh....good it is fake though

Edited by Jeepinator, 20 August 2007 - 09:40 PM.


#5 EAXT

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Posted 20 August 2007 - 11:26 PM

DAMNED.... it's like hearing someone speaking with a hard part french/ part german accent. That's scary!





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