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Chuck Norris

Started by CrazedLlama, Feb 06 2008 08:07 PM

19 replies to this topic

#1 CrazedLlama

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Posted 06 February 2008 - 08:07 PM

CAUTION: Don't Look Into Chuck's Bear Killing Stare With Your Bare Eyes
Posted Image

Video:


Walker Texas Ranger - Chuck Norris Faces a Bear in Combat

In this clip from one of the later seasons of Walker, Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris wrestles a bear and wins. He not only wins, he wins by stare down. The background flutes imply that his stare possesses Native American magic.



Most Popular Chuck Norris Facts!

1- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3- Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6- Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Edited by CrazedLlama, 06 February 2008 - 08:10 PM.

#2 NGPixel

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Posted 06 February 2008 - 11:52 PM

You forgot one extremely important historical fact:

Chuck Norris once shot down a Nazi plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling BANG!

:)

#3 Ben

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Posted 07 February 2008 - 12:12 AM

Also, Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter :)

#4 CrazedLlama

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Posted 07 February 2008 - 12:41 PM

Rofl! Good one guys :biggrin:

#5 Matthew.

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Posted 07 February 2008 - 12:52 PM

You forgot one imporant one:

Chuck Norris once sued someone for saying his tears are a cure for cancer.

http://www.reuters.com/article/rbssTechMed...129580420071222

#6 Bug

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Posted 07 February 2008 - 07:55 PM

And the saying was:

"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. EVER."

+ 9 other hilarious ones!

#7 vvtopkar

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Posted 07 February 2008 - 11:20 PM

Chuck Norris' abs are not hard as steel....



Steel is as hard as Chuck Norris' abs....

:P

#8 CrazedLlama

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 12:41 AM

Couple more.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

#9 BradyValentino

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 12:59 AM

Off topic but, my friend named is Chinese hamster Chuck Norris. The thing is as small as two of my fingers, it's so tiny.

#10 Ben

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 01:06 AM

View PostBradyValentino, on Feb 8 2008, 04:59 PM, said:

Off topic but, my friend named is Chinese hamster Chuck Norris. The thing is as small as two of my fingers, it's so tiny.
Chuck Norris eats hamsters for breakfast :P

#11 SebLev

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 12:43 PM

When Chuck Norris does a puch up, he doesn't push himself up he pushes the earth down.

#12 StudicaSkills

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 03:09 PM

my favourite:

after a long night of drinking, chuck norris doesn't throw up, he throws DOWN!


i'm not sure how this whole chuck norris craze started, but i can't believe how huge it's gotten.

my dad is a big chuck norris and steven siegal fan. :D makes me dig those kinds of guy movies.

#13 Bug

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 07:30 PM

View PostStudicaSkills, on Feb 9 2008, 06:09 AM, said:

i'm not sure how this whole chuck norris craze started, but i can't believe how huge it's gotten.
Me either. Believe it or not, but I still dont' really know who he is... I just know him for those jokes - otherwise I would have never known he existed :D

#14 Scythar

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 09:27 AM

hes dutch actor that played in a lot of "karate" movies.

very long time ago he even had a secondary roll in a bruce lee movie (he was very very young)

#15 Faken

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 09:40 AM

View PostScythar, on Feb 12 2008, 10:27 AM, said:

hes dutch actor that played in a lot of "karate" movies.

very long time ago he even had a secondary roll in a bruce lee movie (he was very very young)

Missing in Action III - Best movie EVAR!

#16 Scythar

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 10:02 AM

yep,
and one off the lesser known: "heroes of three" r something,
i tend to forget things

#17 paxawallop

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 01:39 PM

(pre-mustache) Chuck Norris got his ass handed to him by Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon. There can only be one master!


#18 Donna

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 02:30 PM

View Postpaxawallop, on Feb 12 2008, 10:39 AM, said:

(pre-mustache) Chuck Norris got his ass handed to him by Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon. There can only be one master!



That's a great movie watched that a few times, and as for the master Bruce Lee is dead, Chuck still lives :D

#19 Scythar

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 02:32 PM

well,
we still have the clown part of Bruce Lee left: Jacky Chan

#20 paxawallop

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Posted 12 February 2008 - 05:11 PM

Quote

That's a great movie watched that a few times, and as for the master Bruce Lee is dead, Chuck still lives :D

psh well then chuck just wins by default.
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